When there’s a curve, a fork in the road, or a dark tunnel where one can’t see five feet in front of them, a driver must continue on. They have trust that around the sharp curve, which they can’t see past because of the mile high stone wall, has more road and not rocks in the way. When they come to a fork they have to trust that their GPS, map, or instinct is right in which way they are going. With a dark tunnel they have to trust they will come out into light again.
I’m that driver. There’s a curve coming up to the end of my journey with this beautiful family I have been blessed to serve. While I want to put on the brakes, stop time, and continue this life for longer, I know that it’s coming to an end.
It’s about 12 days until I return home for Christmas. 12 days to love on three precious children, to make memories, laugh, fix boo-boo’s, wipe tears and noses, sing silly songs, dance crazy dances, hand out snacks, change diapers, read books, run around making too much noise, playing house and school, letting little ones drag me around, cuddle and snuggle with baby Ben, hand out snacks again. 12 days left.
I don’t like goodbyes. Living in Belize on a YWAM base where every 2-3 months one has to say goodbye to friends, it was tough. One would think that it would get easier in time but it doesn’t. And so I push back the thoughts of leaving and saying goodbye to this family.
To be completely honest, there is a little bit of excitement. I look forward to where the Lord is leading me next. I know that he’s got amazing things in store for me. But that doesn’t exactly mean I’m excited to leave the life I have here. That curve. That road that splits. The tunnel that I’m coming to and is clearly marked “UNKNOWN”. Those are the things I begin to slow at. I wonder why I can’t know where I’m going. Or what I’m doing next. Or why everything seems so dark.
And through all of it, God says to trust. Trust that even if there are rocks in the road around the curve he’ll help me around them, trust that he’ll show me and make it clear as to which road at the fork is good, trust that the tunnel may be dark, but he’s right beside me holding my hand and leading me through it.
None of it is easy. But there have been rocks I’ve already had to dodge. There’s been forks I’ve had to choose at and dark tunnels I’ve been through. But God has never once left me, and I know these next couple months of unknowns will be the same, as long as I continue to trust Him.
I’m going to live these next two weeks to the fullest and enjoy life. And after that, I’ll see where the curve around the corner takes me. It’s not easy, but sometimes there can be even more beauty on the other side.