The End and Beginning

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” – Proverbs 16:3

Over a year ago, I remember finding this verse, praying over it, writing it down and taping it to my bedroom wall to be as a reminder of what I was committing to the Lord.
I wanted to be a Missionary Nanny. I wanted to be the hands and feet of Christ, to serve in ways that would be of a help to the Kingdom of God. And three months later, I found out that I was actually going to do that. I was going to be a nanny for a family overseas.
And the Lord was faithful. He brought me through so much. Sickness, homesickness, lack of sleep, hurricanes, stolen items, months and months away from family and friends. He showed me his faithfulness, his grace, he taught me to be patient, to take a deep breath and keep going even when I wanted to cry, he taught me to speak up and to shut up. He reminded me of former times, that I’d been through it once and I could get through it again.
Through the time as being a nanny I learned to love water again, I watched the pure joy of a three year old girl whether she was dancing over a crab or the white snow outside. I learned to be patient when a little one year old boy could only communicate his anger by throwing things. (Thankfully that didn’t happen often!) But with time he slowly learned to sign with his hands and soon after begin to say simple things, such as “hi-ee, haaaal-p! Haaaal-p!” ( Honestly, it was the cutest, but more relieving thing to hear, because before he learned to say that, he would yell at me to get my attention, so my ears are thankful)
I learned so much, grew in knowledge of children and cultures and habits and so many other little things. I could never have imagined half of anything that I got to go through and experience in my time as a nanny for a missionary family.

Before I get to anything else, I want to take a moment and go back to a little over a week ago. I got to watch the dad and his two children learn to skate for the first time. (Here I am with the kids, watching people skate, and me and Faith out on the ice) Apart from jumping into the Caribbean Sea with the kids in Belize, this was probably my favorite thing of everything I’ve done with them. We didn’t spend a lot of time on the ice, and both children had trouble staying up and skating, but the whole thing was just so fun and I’m super thankful that we got to do it.

And through all of it, I knew my time would one day come, where I would have to pack my bags and end my time with this beautiful family. I would be starting a new beginning of memories, experiences and adventures.
It’s hard to move on and figure out where life is going next when I don’t really want to do what’s next. This past week was hard, trying to move back into my family’s house, talk to people about what’s next, find quiet corners to cry in, and take a moment to breath and move on.  I have plans and hopes and dreams, but at the same time, it would hurt so much to talk about when I had just left the best job I could have ever asked for.
But like everything else from life, I have survived. I still miss people, that’s normal. I still have moments (like now) where I’m overwhelmed by the sadness of having to leave. But I know that there comes a point where I have to get up, carry the memories in my heart, and move on.
Thankfully, every day it gets a little easier. I have lots of things that I hope for the future and I look forward to what God can do with me and through me over this next coming up year. I look forward to seeing what new adventures I can go on, how many crazy awesome memories I can make, and see what new ways God can shine through me as we go through life together.

So, the one question that I hear most, the one thing everyone wants to know.

“What’s next Heidi?”

Honestly, I’m done for now with being a Missionary Nanny. I have plans to maybe stay in the states, maybe begin working, maybe save up some money, maybe get married, maybe have my own family….but it’s a lot of maybe’s. Right now I’m just taking it a day at a time. I’m looking towards the future and hoping, planning and dreaming of what may come.

One other new beginning that I’m going to do, is (for now) I’m going to set aside writing in this blog. It’s a bittersweet feeling. I’m so thankful for the time I’ve had to share my experiences and adventures. I’m so thankful for the people, the prayers and encouragement I’ve received during this time. Maybe one day I’ll bring it back, but for now, it was a season in my life of keeping up with family and friends.
Either way, I have a phone number and email (as well as a Facebook account), if anyone needs to catch up on life and hear more on where I’m headed or how I’m doing. Feel free to call, email or message me at anytime! I’d love to hear from you!

Until next time,

><>Heidi<><

5 thoughts on “The End and Beginning”

  1. I am so, so proud of you Heidi!! I love your heart for everyone that surrounds you and for the depths you choose to love them with. You are one of the most extrordinary people I’ve ever met and you never give up!
    I love you loads and I miss you a ton and I can’t wait to see what God has for you in the future!! Keep us posted and I’ll be praying for you!!

    Keep being you and loving big, the world is changing because of you!

  2. Heidi, thank you for sharing. I understand your feelings about coming to an end of your journey as a nanny. I went through the same thing one time when I felt the Lord telling me that I was coming to an end of the ministry that I was in. I went to my room and cried. But He has plans for you and He’ll lead you one day at a time.

  3. Heidi, thank you for sharing. I understand your feelings about coming to an end of your journey as a nanny. I went through the same thing one time when I felt the Lord telling me that I was coming to an end of the ministry that I was in. I went to my room and cried. But He has plans for you and He’ll lead you one day at a time.

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