In the past month I have have about 5 times I considered sitting down and writing about my stress-filled life and share a depressing look on what it was like to have no job, no car, no close family or friends and no meaningful purpose. But I was too stressed, depressed and dark-clouds kind of mood to actually sit down and share all of it. So here, a month later, I’m finally finding time and more sunny look on life to actually share more in depth of what the past month has looked like.
When I first got to Florida, I found two places that had Preschool Teacher openings. The first place, BBLC, is a 5-7 minute car drive (literally down the road from where my boyfriend lives). When I went in for my interview, I found a blue building, with verses written on white boards and a happy environment. My interview went great, I loved the place and was looking forward to hearing back about getting a job with them.
The next day I had a job interview at a preschool that is located in a church. To be more specific, it’s the church that Devin and I have been attending on Sunday mornings. Once again, I had a great interview, and I loved them. I was told right then and there that I could have the job if I wanted it and I decided to take the night to think about it.
I wanted somewhere close to bike to. Something that gave me enough to save money and not just have to live to pay bills and try to survive. I wanted something that I would love and enjoy doing. Something that would be fun and that I could be myself. I decided that due to the 20 minute drive to the Preschool in the church plus it being only part time, I would give BBLC a call and let them know I would take their full time, higher paying, closer to me, job. That also included giving the preschool at the church a sad call back and telling them I wouldn’t be taking their opening.
I had the dreams of working close to my home, being auto insurance free, I’d be working full time, saving lots of money and one day I would have enough to move into my own apartment, buy a car, maybe it would even lead to a nanny job where I would make more and save more. And close to two weeks later, I began to lose my rose colored glasses. The job turned out to part time. I set up a time to go in and talk about getting started and found out that day didn’t work. I tried for a week, calling sometimes three times a day to get someone who would know how I could start working there and I never got a call back. By that point I was having some people telling me to keep trying, others were telling me to go back to the preschool at the church, and I just wanted the whole thing to end.
At that point, two of my best friends from New York traveled down to Florida for spring break. I decided that I was going to take that time to relax, let my hair down, and forget my depressing life of being jobless.
It worked for the most part. I got to spend two cold, windy days at the beach, go shopping and watch other people spend money, go to restaurants and order the cheapest things that was offered. It was a great week to sit and think about my life and where I was heading with everything.
After talking to my mom about where things were headed with BBLC, she suggested that I take some money from my parents, buy a car, and go get the job at the preschool at the springs. I didn’t want to. I wanted to be debt free, a biker and money saver. It took me about a day or two to realize that those dreams were great and wonderful. But I really can’t bike that far every day, especially if it rained or I was running late. I had no other jobs that were popping up and everything seemed to be pointing towards this one, money loaded, option.
So taking a deep breath I took the money from my parents and began to look for vehicles located within 10 miles of where I live. That soon went out to just anywhere in Florida because cars get bought so quickly during the tax season. I spent a week or so looking, spending one day looking at nearly 10 different cars. They were all different, yet never worked. They had dents and scratches or the motor clanked or they didn’t even run, or they smelled so bad I didn’t even want to get into them, or they looked trashy or they were wayyyy over my budget. The list could go on and on. It was stressful, awful, wonderful, crazy and I’m so glad I am done going through that because….
Hold on, let me back up. After a couple days of my car hunt, I was greatly
encouraged by many people to give the preschool at that church a call and see if they were still hiring. I didn’t want to commit to anything until I had a car, but figured it wouldn’t hurt to give them a call and at least ask if the position was still open. To my surprise, they still had a open position, looked forward to having me join their team, and asked if I could head in the next day to start paperwork. I felt all kinds of thankful. I couldn’t believe how fast everything was happening.
To make a long story a little shorter, I got all paperwork done, finger printed, background checked, and continued looking at vehicles. I got a text message a couple days later that a certain paperwork had come back faster then expected and I was able to start working that next Monday. I still had no vehicle and while I was excited, I was still feeling stressed out about it. It was a happy, depressing time.
Anyways, I started working Monday a week ago! It was glorious and amazing to be surrounded by loving children again. Preschool @ The Springs encourages their teachers to make Jesus the center of everything, to sing songs, read books, invite the children to participate in exploring God’s creation and loving their friends well. It’s so different from being a nanny. I am much better at spending time with two or three kids rather then having nine little children running around screaming. There’s a lot of rules and codes that have to be followed. But the past ten days have been so worth it and I’m super thankful that I went back for this job.
Back to vehicles. I was looking but not really finding anything. Through my hunt of a vehicle my taste went from cars, to accepting trucks, bugs and PT cruisers. I needed something so I would take nearly anything. Then my boyfriend’s dad found this 2002 PT cruiser. I’m not a fan of white and the wood grain stickers. I don’t like the look of cruisers and had it been a month ago I may have passed by it all together. Thankfully I didn’t do that though because I am now the proud owner of this ugly white, wood grain sticker, cruiser.
There’s sooooooooo much more I wish I had time to write about. Devin has been amazing during the past couple weeks, encouraging me to take my time, and keep breathing through the stress. I could go into so much more detail over how thankful I am for him in my life. He’s done a lot while I’ve been down here. A lot.
It’s been a crazy couple months. But through it, God has been faithful. He’s always reminding me of ways that I can trust him. I worry and doubt more then I should. Yet he’s always bringing me back to the quiet place that I thrive best when I rest in his peaceful arms.
Life happens, stress and busyness comes. And while I don’t like the depression and dark look on life, there’s always a hope at the end, a light that I’m going to be okay, no matter what.
Until next time,