As the new year crept up on me, I’ve been in reflection on this past year and all the crazy adventures that happened. From leaving Virginia from nannying for a
Belizian family for a year, to packing to move to Florida. In FL I had adventures at the beach while friends came to visit, and then there was trouble finding a car and job. I went on fun dates, did window shopping and finally got blessed with a challenging, but amazing job at a Preschool. Then there was returning home for my best friend’s wedding where I got to be her maid of honor. On the way to my FL home there was a scary episode of me hitting a deer, which led to praying about
leaving Florida and feeling like my world and life was out of control. After only having lived four months in FL, I returned to NY and began to figure out what to do with my life. I had a ton of questions and doubts and unknowns. Stress constantly weighed on my shoulders and I found that loving life despite what was happening helped me get through the days. In August there was an awesome opprotunity to travel to Belize for two weeks to nanny. And while I was there, I was told about (what seemed to be a farfetched, near impossible,
never to happen) nanny job in Alabama. Only to my surprise, realizing it was right where God wanted me and moving within a month later. October was busy with learning new routine’s, a new place to live and new life. November was full of struggles and frustration, sadness and grief as family member after family member went through heartache, pain and lost of love ones. In December, I hit a low point and after two weeks of reading books because I had nothing much more to do, I made the choice to drive home, verses flying, and managed to accomplish a 12 hour drive to my grandparents in 12 and 1/2 hours. And before returning to my AL home, I got to visit with my Belizian family (I nannied for) while they were in the states for the holidays. And now here I am today, sitting in my Alabama home and feeling overwhelmed by all that happened this year. And it’s a grateful and thankful overwhelmed feeling.
This year has not gone the directions I thought it would. But looking back there’s
a beauty in that. There’s a thankfulness that I’m not in control of my life, as much as I think I want to be. This year has held a lot of doubt, uncertainty, fear, worries, stress, unknowns and hardships. But through that flowered trust, happiness, peace, clarity, grace, faithfulness, joy and love despite all that I went through.
Through 2018, God has been opening my eyes to his promises. He is faithful. He will never leave me. He will be a friend and father when I’m alone and need comfort. He will be my strength when I don’t want to get out of bed. He will be my rock when life is spiraling out of control. He will be the one who will take my hand and help me step out of my comfortzone. He’ll be the one who will point towards the risky valley and ask if I want to dance with him through it. He is the one who redeems me, claiming me as his, even when I mess up again. The best part, he
promises to keep his promises.
As I look at 2019, I have begun to ask myself questions regarding who I am and where I’m headed in life. I’ve questioned God in who he is and where he is taking me. I’ve wrestled and rolled but also have also started seeing small doors open to my questions. The Lord says to ask, seek and knock and those doors will open. I’m hoping that with this new year, even more doors will open and I’ll experience God’s love and guidance in stronger ways then before.
“For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory.” 2 Corinthians 1:20
Happy New Year!