Power on the Inside

I wrote this down a couple nights ago. It’s just some thoughts on the power that God has given each of his children that I wanted to share. Like always, it’s a little all over the place, but it’s something. Enjoy!

There is a power so great inside me. What a great promise! When I returned  from New York to Florida at the end of May, I brought back a bible that I read in my teen years. I will never forget being seventeen and deciding for the first time that I was going to read, not because I wanted to, but because I needed to. I dived into the New Testament and began to underline. I had a rule that every night I had to read a chapter and had to either underline or write a small note on the side of a verse. Even just simple like, “I love this verse,” would count. But I wanted to read to understand, learn and grow. Not just to check off a list. Spending all that time in the word was so beneficial. Seventeen was my favorite age.

We need to lay a foundation to stand on. And it needs to be upon Christ, his word and a relationship with him. And then upon that foundation we can allow Christ to build himself a throne, and a home over it, which we can live together. We can grow to trust him with the dusty closets or dark basements. And through it, he’ll plant a garden, surrounding the home in fruit and flowers. But are we willing to accept it all? For free?

And it’s not easy. The storms come. People steal from us. We are robbed of joy and possessions. People hurt us. They touch our bodies, minds and souls, scarring us. We all have God sized holes to be filled. Sometimes we try and fill it with food. Or relationships. Or drugs. Or money. Or jobs. For me, I tried to fill my hole by allowing my thoughts to roam, causing me to be discontent. I focused more on a future wedding, not becoming a woman of Christ. I pushed down secrets and allowed lies to fill my heart, trying to cover my brokenness. They were all things that will never fulfill the longing inside my soul that Christ can only fill.

Thankfully, age seventeen I realized my mistakes, and realized that it’s not in Heidi’s power to fix myself. I needed the power of the spirit to help me. I opened a few dusty closets and allow God to help me sweep the cobwebs out. It took months to clear some of those places out. And it was years later that I actually realized there was an attic door inside the closet and we had to start all over again to clear out cobwebs and fill the places with Christ’s light.

I still struggle being content and being thankful with the place Christ has put me. I’m still learning to allow healing to come into my life. But I’m working on growing. The garden of my heart that He’s planted is getting bigger. And I get to spend the rest of my life continually learning more, growing and being victorious.

And with Christ comes His power. The power of the spirit. It hit me a week or so ago at church. I had the thought hit me and wrote in my notebook “I have a great power inside me and I can look the enemy and hard times in the eyes and say “you have no power over me.” And I’ve been mulling over this phrase for the past couple days. I haven’t come to anything, just been thinking, praying and allowing God to let the truth of that statement settle into my heart.

Back to that bible I used in my teen years. I was recently flipping through and remember I had some notes in Nehemiah back when I was in a bible study years ago. And while I was reading, I came upon this verse. Nehemiah 6:16 “When all our enemies heard about this, all the surrounding nations were afraid and lost their self-confidence, because they realized that this work had been done with the help of our God.”

Wow. Talk about power. And the great thing about this power is that it’s still inside us today. We can do things and there will be fear of us for the God who is with us. Me, a little girl from the country can do amazing, powerful things through Christ. When I was nannying in Belize, I heard a song and part of the lyrics went, “There’s a yes in our hearts and it carries through eternity. Simple obedience, it changes history.” I think of those lyrics often, how my little yes to the Lord can be used in might, extraordinary ways. Whether it’s a yes to his plan for my life, a yes to reading a chapter in my bible a day, or yes to using the power he gave me, for his glory.



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